Here I present to you in glowing, possibly mind numbing, blue light…..The words of some of the texts I have sent. You are welcome.

Textuality – Chapter 1

I must relay this to you because otherwise it will not be noted by the cosmos. I just possibly pooped the best poop of my life. It was undoubtedly done well beyond any normal mortal expectations of the common man. How can this happen you ask? It did not just HAPPEN. I feel I was CHOSEN. I went from a vague feeling of unease to the sudden evacuation of cabin pressure in an airplane at 30000 feet. I heard angels sing. It was off key because they were holding their noses. The light from its perfection shone upwards making my balls appear as shadow puppet twin suns upon the wet ceiling. I wanted to gaze upon it with total love but you do not make eye contact with perfection. I looked away from this anal ark of the covenant as the spirits swirling around disappeared.

The best part…it caught me completely (and literally luckily) with my pants down. Life is a box of chocolates. Apparently so am I.

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